‘The dream is to be a standup, but everyone who knows me says: Please don’t’ – Riz Ahmed on chaos, comedy, and defying categorisation

Riz Ahmed, celebrated for his multifaceted career, stands out as one of Britain's most versatile and recognizable stars. Yet, as he candidly reveals, this journey has not been without its profoundly awkward and chaotic moments. The actor-musician-activist recently recounted one such memorable incident.

It was a chaotic February afternoon in London, with Ahmed attempting to multitask. He was conducting an interview for a men's magazine while simultaneously rushing to pick up his child from school. "Here’s the reality of a seemingly glamorous life," Ahmed declared, emphasizing his point by slamming his palms on the table. "I was critically late for the school run, stuck in severe traffic. I was meant to be on my laptop, but instead, I was doing the interview on my phone, from my car. I was double-parked on a double yellow line, constantly checking over my shoulder for a traffic warden during rush hour. He inevitably appeared, urging me to move, and I was desperately trying to maneuver out of the spot while still on the call."

In his haste and acute distraction, Ahmed unfortunately collided with another vehicle. The other driver promptly exited his car, visibly furious. "'What the hell are you doing?!'" Ahmed remembers the man shouting, even as Ahmed himself was trying to maintain the facade of a calm, professional interview. "I quickly pretended my signal was bad to switch off my video," Ahmed explained, "then went on and off mute to negotiate car insurance details with the enraged driver. After that, I'd smoothly return to the interview, lower my voice an octave, and utter something like, 'Absolutely, it was just such an honor getting to tell my story with these amazing collaborators.'"